


Medicate

by crossbow_angel



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV), walking - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depressing, Drug Use, Gen, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Daryl Dixon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 21:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13489962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossbow_angel/pseuds/crossbow_angel
Summary: Song Fic inspired from the song Rx By Theory of a Deadman Daryl trying to escape and numb the pain of the past with drugs and alcohol with Merle. This is set before the apocalypse





	Medicate

**Author's Note:**

> This is my First Walking Dead story and it was inspired by the song Rx by Theory of a Deadman if you haven’t heard it I recommend you listen to it. I feel really shy about sharing it because I am terrible at Grammar and punctuation and I can be a super shy writer I don’t share my work often. I hope you enjoy Reviews would be greatly appreciated so I know what ya’ll think.  
> I also do not own anything Walking Dead or the Song Rx

 

**Medicate**

 

_Wake up to a cloudy day_  
 _Dark rolls in and it starts to rain_  
 _Staring out_ to _the cage-like walls_  
 _Time goes by and the shadows crawl_  
 _Crushin' candy crushin' pills_  
 _Got no job, mom pays my bills_  
 _Textin' ex's get my fill_  
 _Sweatin' bullets, Netflix-chills_  
 _World's out there singin' the blues_  
 _Twenty more dead on the evening news_  
 _Think to myself "really, what's the use?"_  
 _I'm just like you, I was born to lose_

The sound of the thunder rolling outside the window woke me from a light nightmare filled sleep my head throbbed in pain, I groaned as I slowly opened my eyes and sat up a wave of nausea hit me as I looked across the room to see Merle passed out on the other couch across the room his arm rest over his eyes an empty liquor bottle in his other hand I could hear him snoring softly beer and liquor bottles lay scattered across the room from the previous night’s drinking and partying I reached towards the coffee table and grabbed a blunt out of the ashtray and lit it I took a slow long drag inhaling the sweet evergreen taste of marijuana I smiled as the nausea quickly died away I would have to ask Merle where he got the weed and see if we could get some more .

 

_Why oh why can't you just fix me?_  
 _When all I want's to feel numb_  
 _But the medication's all gone_  
 _Why oh why does God hate me?_  
 _When all I want's to get high_  
 _And forget this so-called life_  
  
_I am so frickin' bored_  
 _Nothin' to do today_  
 _I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)_  
 _I am so frickin' bored_  
 _Nothing to do today_  
 _I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)_

 

I took another drag before I stood up laying the blunt in the ashtray and walked into the small kitchen to the beat up old fridge, the door squeaked loudly as I pulled it open the only thing in it was an old take out box which I was sure from the smell had something growing in it, a half a case of Coca-Cola because I liked Jack and Coke and a case of beer I grabbed a bottle and used the metal bottle opener that was mounted on the wall beside the fridge to open it and drank half of it sighing I walked back to the couch and sat down I looked around at my dismal surroundings the sound of thunder rocked the crappy run down trailer me and my brother lived in, the coffee table in front of me was littered with cigarette wrappers, a bag of weed, an assortment of pill bottles and shot glasses I took another swig  of my beer before grabbing and unscrewing a bottle of pills and pouring 4 in my hand I popped them into my mouth and washed them down with the last of my beer

_Can't wait to feel better than I ever will_  
 _Attack that shit like a kid on Benadryl_  
 _Chase it down with a hopeful smile_  
 _Hate myself, if I can go for miles_  
 _They say family's all you need_  
 _Someone to trust can help you breathe_  
 _Inhale that drug, but you start to choke_  
 _You follow the outs of an inside joke_  
  
_Why oh why can't you just fix me?_  
 _When all I want's to feel numb_  
 _But the medication's all gone_  
 _Why oh why does God hate me?_  
 _Cause I've seen enough of it, heard enough of it, felt enough of it_  
 _Had enough of it!_  


 

I got up and silently walked to my room I pulled my filthy shirt off grabbing a bottle of Jack Daniels that was half full sitting on my dresser and downed the rest of it and collapsed onto my small twin bed and closed my eyes listening to the rain pounding against the trailers tin roof my mind drifted as the pills took affect I wanted to be taken far from the nightmares of the past but they continued to chase me as I felt the past pain of watching my father hitting my mother and then taking his rage out on me when I screamed at him to stop I was 5 the first time he punched me and gave me a black eye and split lip that made it impossible for me to go to school for over a week. That was was only the beginning

 

_Medicate_  
Medicate  
Medicate  
Medicate

 

The sound of my mom crying in the next room as my father screamed at her and the sound of his fist hitting flesh. Merle was gone I couldn’t remember if he was on a bender or doing another stint in Juvie it made no difference he wasn’t there to help us, no one could help us.

 

_Superman is a hero_   
_But only when his mind is clear though_   
_He needs that fix like the rest of us_   
_So he's got no fear when he saves that bus_   
_All the stars in the Hollywood Hills_   
_Snapchat live while they pop them pills_   
_All those flavors of the rainbow_   
_Too bad that shit don't work though_

 

The smell of the smoke that filled my lungs the sound of the sirens as I ran towards the flaming house that used to be my home

 

_Your friends are high right now_  
 _Your parents are high right now_  
 _That hot chick's high right now_  
 _That cop is high right now_  
 _The president's high right now_  
 _Your priest is high right now_  
 _Everyone's high as fuck right now_  
 _And no one's ever coming down_  


 

The Pain of being beaten because I hadn’t been home to stop mom from being a dumbass and dying and how it was it my fault.

The pain of his belt hitting my back over and over again.

Learning how to stitch cuts and gashes myself and getting Merle when I couldn't reach them.

Learning how to set bones and wrap broken ribs.

 

_Why oh why can't you just fix me?_   
_When all I want's to feel numb_   
_But the medication's all gone_   
_Why oh why does God hate me?_   
_When all I want's to get high_   
_And forget this so-called life_

 

I quickly sat up feeling the tears slide down my face I wiped them off roughly and walked back into the living room Merle was awake and sitting up filling a needle with pure clear liquid he looked up and handed me the syringe seeing the look on my face and picked up a lighter and spoon and started getting his own ready as I sat down beside him and wrapped the stretchy plastic around my arm and slid the needle into my arm the rush of the drugs filled my body I sighed and leaned into the back of the couch the tension in my muscles fade away as I slipped into a blissful state and wishing I never had to come down.

 

_I am so frickin' bored_  
 _Nothing to do today_  
 _I guess I'll sit around and medicate (medicate)_  
 _I am so frickin' bored_  
 _Nothing to do today_  
 _I guess I'll sit around and medicate_  
  
_Medicate_  
 _Medicate_  
 _Medicate_  
 _Medicate_  
  
_I medicate_


End file.
